We are all a little damaged,
some of us hide it better than others
but on some level we are all torn up.
we take it our on others,
and beat through life carrying it all
& we will end up damaging someone else
and most of the time we won't notice, nor care,
because we are too busy with
our own little disaster.

promises and vows ?

it is rather strange, we easily make promises, vows and plan the future when we are happy and in love.
i guess promises is just a saying of keeping and breaking :/

we promise to never leave each other and to always love and cherish one another.
we promise to be loyal and never hurt the other half.

we were so sure that we couldn't live without each other.

life seems impossible to live without you by my side.

the person who promise to never make you cry is the one that hurts you the most.

(shake head)

here i am today. without you by my side.
i am alive and i am happy.

living my life to the fullest and realizing how foolish we tend to be when we are in love.

we underestimate ourselves and believe that without him/her, there is no way we can be happy.

thinking back and remembering all the promises we made each other.
you broke all of yours and sad to say.. i broke mine too...
i promise to never leave you no matter what comes and i did leave.

i learn not to make promises easily because a promise made is a debt unpaid.

There's no love like the first

One could fall in love many times during the course of a lifetime, but the first rush of love always holds a special place in our hearts. The novelty of the feeling, like the first drops of dew on an untouched leaf, makes it special and unforgettable.
First love is powerful.  It builds us up, and it can tear us apart.


i can never love anyone like i loved you. the feeling just doesn't come. its a different feeling. nothing like how i felt for you. 
i guess.. that is why people say that first love is the hardest to forget. 


i guess i will never be able to forget what we shared. 
the good times and the bad.
i am disappointed that it came to an end because of your STUPIDITY.


i still tear up whenever i think about how you hurt me but i wouldn't doubt the fact that i am a stronger and a better person now. i value myself more. 
i put myself first and i know exactly what i want in life. love would be a bonus. 


the thing about first love is you never knew you could feel that way for someone.
the care, love, eagerness to just hear his voice and all the silly long hours conversation about random things. 
your life becomes a fairy tale. you will be over the moon and you will start planning about your marriage and even your life together with him. 


then.. he breaks your heart. leave you alone and move on like nothing happen.
all your happiness being sucked out of you. 


you realize life is not a fairy tale and u snap back to the harsh brutal reality. you tell yourself that you never gonna fall in love again. that every man out there is a heartless bastard. you stop believing in love. you see a happy couple and u think ( i wonder how long is this gonna last )




(sigh)


i wouldn't say i am over you. i care about you and you still come across my mind every now and then. 
but i have let you go. it caused me lots of grief, pain, and tears. but i manage to do it. :)




“Everybody says the first cut if the deepest. It’s so true. I don’t know if it’s because it’s the best love, but it’s the first that you remember. There is one boy that I will remember for the rest of my life, and I wouldn’t go as far as to say, ‘Oh I was in love with him and he broke my heart’. You hold on to that, just that first experience, it’s good to have and you should appreciate it, even if it hurts.”  kristen stewart 




“Something about first love defies duplication. Before it, your heart is blank. Unwritten. After, the walls are left inscribed and graffitied. When it ends, no amount of scrubbing will purge the scrawled oaths and sketched images, but sooner or later, you find that there’s space for someone else, between the words and in the margins.” 
― Tammara Webber, Where You Are

how ??

I don’t understand how you can smile all day long but cry yourself to sleep at night. How pictures never change but the people in them do.. How forever turns into a few short months that you’d do almost anything to get back. How you can let go of something you once said you couldn’t live without.How even though you know something is best for you, it just hurts the same. How the people who once wanted to spend every second with you, think a few minutes of their time is too much to spare. How people make promises despite knowing how common it is for promises to be broken. How people can erase you from their lives just because it’s easier than working things out.

karma day

today is karma day?  i was shocked to find this out via twitter.
it made me think of all the people who have hurt me and yes.. i did think of you mr daniel.

i realized life is not fair. you get to live your life the way u want and here i am suffering for trusting you.
i am paying the price for being with you :)

family members treat me as a joke and laugh at me.

i get sarcasm and lots of hurtful remarks because of you.

i didn't do anything wrong,,

i trusted you. to be there for me. to be loyal and to at least appreciate whatever nonsense i was going through just because i wanted to be with you.

(sobbing )

you are a loser and a heartless jerk..

for hurting me in such a way .. not once, not twice but countless time.

being with you was a mistake.

trusting you and thinking that you are worth every sacrifice and pain is plain stupidity.

no one takes me seriously at home.. and its all because of you.

i hate you for everything that you have done and everything that i am going through for you.

you will have to pay a very heavy price for each time i grief and for every tear drop.

i was loyal and right. you were wrong for me..
i wish you could at least be a man and let me know this way earlier and safe me from this pain.

To Travel is Better Than to Arrive

“Some famous guy once said, ‘To travel is better than to arrive‘. and I was like ‘What!?’ Well, because I used to think that there was only one path to take to where you wanna get to be in life. But if you choose that one path, that doesn’t mean you have to abandon all the others. I realized that it’s actually what happens along the way….that counts. The stumbles or the falls. The friendships. It’s the journey. Not the destination. You just gotta -I guess- trust the future will work itself out like it’s supposed to.”
-Moose (Adam G. Sevani)


This quote was taken from the movie Step Up 3D

 I like the quote “To travel is better than to arrive,” because it truly is about the journey we take in life. Sometimes the journey isn’t what we expected. I, for one, know that first hand. However, it’s the knowledge we gain, the people we meet, and the mistakes we learn from that gets us to where we want to be in life.

In my opinion, when we just have the destination in mind it skews the direction we want to go in and the way we ultimately perceive things. By only seeing the destination in mind we don’t realize the obstacles we’re going to have to go through to get there. I think this quote truly defines that we won’t get anywhere in life without having to work hard for whatever it is we want to achieve or where we want to get. We WILL have to work hard and put in the effort to learn. We WILL meet people, make friendships, and build relationships–some that last and some that don’t, unfortunately. And we WILL make mistakes. With those mistakes (and failures) we’ll have to learn to pick ourselves back up.We’re so caught up about the way we look and what others may think about us when in reality it doesn’t matter. We often think too much about the future and what’s up ahead than just enjoying the now.

What makes life so precious? It’s the journey we go through. What we experience and what we gain from those experiences while headed towards the destination. The end result.

the good in the bad

i have to thank you for coming into my life as a lesson.

each lie, betrayal and manipulation that i had to endure made me a wiser and stronger person.

i am not as naive as i used to be. 

thank you for making me realize no man is worth the price of sacrificing my family.

thank you for teaching me not to trust anyone easily.

thank you for letting me learn the hard way that not everyone is worth the time and effort that we put in

thank you for showing me how mean and deceiving people can be.
thank you for letting me know that never to keep high hopes and love someone more than they deserve 

 last but not least,

thank you for giving me the most valuable lesson in life : to get my priorities right and to never tie my happiness to people 

i have alot to thank you for. you are my biggest mistake and also the most important lesson learned.

no matter how much i try, i can never hate you.

do i care for you ? 

yes. i do. 

but...

you are nothing more than my bitter past. 

a dark phase in my life.

if i do look back its to remind myself not to repeat my mistakes. 

thank you once again :)