hamesha and forever

Hamesha & forever, jab tak saanson ka saath hai
Hamesha & forever, jab tak taaron ki raat hai
Hamesha & forever, tab tak teri hi baat hai
Hamesha & forever dil mein tu

letting go

It's a lot harder than it seems. You talk all day, everyday. You fall asleep on the phone together. You wake up to good morning texts. You think about them every second you're awake then when you're asleep, you dream about them. You spend time with them whether it's in person or not. They soon become a part of your everyday life and you get used to it… Then all of a sudden, they leave

. Most of the time once they're gone, they're gone for good. Meaning, no more late night calls, no more cute text messages (actually no texts at all), and all of that. The first few days you will want to call, text, and really do everything just to talk to them and restore what's “normal”. But, as much as you try, things don't change. The hardest part is letting go. You check their facebook often just to see what they're doing and also to see if they have someone new. This person that was once your everything is now just a memory. A memory that you replay over and over again in your head. You spend nights reminiscing in the said words, shared laughs, all the good things that went on during the time you two were together. Letting go can take weeks, months, even years. Remember that this was just a fragment of time, a memory that will someday fade. ♥ :]

growing up

i am 21 this year. therefore i am considered as an adult. but i am wondering is age a good yardstick to measure someone's maturity level. do u grow up according to your age?

i guess no.

i still feel i am a child. i am afraid to grow up. live on my own and make my own decisions.
i am afraid to face the real world all alone.

:'(

i guess i am just going through the peter pan syndrome.

as a child, i was never afraid of anything. i was eager and curious to know and learn new things. but today, i am even afraid to trust people.

i am scared that the decision i make will destroy my life.

haizz..

i am not ready to face the real world yet.
i guess being all alone and having no one to guide me is scaring me.

:(

being a better me

I'm just living my life & 
being the best version of a woman I can be.
I’m not always going to please everyone.
At the end of the day, the only person I should be answering to is myself.
You have to speak your mind.
Don’t let anyone talk you out of being you.

We are all a little damaged,
some of us hide it better than others
but on some level we are all torn up.
we take it our on others,
and beat through life carrying it all
& we will end up damaging someone else
and most of the time we won't notice, nor care,
because we are too busy with
our own little disaster.

promises and vows ?

it is rather strange, we easily make promises, vows and plan the future when we are happy and in love.
i guess promises is just a saying of keeping and breaking :/

we promise to never leave each other and to always love and cherish one another.
we promise to be loyal and never hurt the other half.

we were so sure that we couldn't live without each other.

life seems impossible to live without you by my side.

the person who promise to never make you cry is the one that hurts you the most.

(shake head)

here i am today. without you by my side.
i am alive and i am happy.

living my life to the fullest and realizing how foolish we tend to be when we are in love.

we underestimate ourselves and believe that without him/her, there is no way we can be happy.

thinking back and remembering all the promises we made each other.
you broke all of yours and sad to say.. i broke mine too...
i promise to never leave you no matter what comes and i did leave.

i learn not to make promises easily because a promise made is a debt unpaid.

There's no love like the first

One could fall in love many times during the course of a lifetime, but the first rush of love always holds a special place in our hearts. The novelty of the feeling, like the first drops of dew on an untouched leaf, makes it special and unforgettable.
First love is powerful.  It builds us up, and it can tear us apart.


i can never love anyone like i loved you. the feeling just doesn't come. its a different feeling. nothing like how i felt for you. 
i guess.. that is why people say that first love is the hardest to forget. 


i guess i will never be able to forget what we shared. 
the good times and the bad.
i am disappointed that it came to an end because of your STUPIDITY.


i still tear up whenever i think about how you hurt me but i wouldn't doubt the fact that i am a stronger and a better person now. i value myself more. 
i put myself first and i know exactly what i want in life. love would be a bonus. 


the thing about first love is you never knew you could feel that way for someone.
the care, love, eagerness to just hear his voice and all the silly long hours conversation about random things. 
your life becomes a fairy tale. you will be over the moon and you will start planning about your marriage and even your life together with him. 


then.. he breaks your heart. leave you alone and move on like nothing happen.
all your happiness being sucked out of you. 


you realize life is not a fairy tale and u snap back to the harsh brutal reality. you tell yourself that you never gonna fall in love again. that every man out there is a heartless bastard. you stop believing in love. you see a happy couple and u think ( i wonder how long is this gonna last )




(sigh)


i wouldn't say i am over you. i care about you and you still come across my mind every now and then. 
but i have let you go. it caused me lots of grief, pain, and tears. but i manage to do it. :)




“Everybody says the first cut if the deepest. It’s so true. I don’t know if it’s because it’s the best love, but it’s the first that you remember. There is one boy that I will remember for the rest of my life, and I wouldn’t go as far as to say, ‘Oh I was in love with him and he broke my heart’. You hold on to that, just that first experience, it’s good to have and you should appreciate it, even if it hurts.”  kristen stewart 




“Something about first love defies duplication. Before it, your heart is blank. Unwritten. After, the walls are left inscribed and graffitied. When it ends, no amount of scrubbing will purge the scrawled oaths and sketched images, but sooner or later, you find that there’s space for someone else, between the words and in the margins.” 
― Tammara Webber, Where You Are

how ??

I don’t understand how you can smile all day long but cry yourself to sleep at night. How pictures never change but the people in them do.. How forever turns into a few short months that you’d do almost anything to get back. How you can let go of something you once said you couldn’t live without.How even though you know something is best for you, it just hurts the same. How the people who once wanted to spend every second with you, think a few minutes of their time is too much to spare. How people make promises despite knowing how common it is for promises to be broken. How people can erase you from their lives just because it’s easier than working things out.