The Leftover Woman

The smell of ghee rice filled the whole house. Little nieces and nephews running around the living room while screaming at each other. Meanwhile the adults gathered at the dining room chatting away happily while chomping down samosas and hot masala tea.

Taking advantage of the situation, I quickly sneaked into my room whilst trying to avoid eye contact with any mamaji (uncle) or masiji (aunty). I locked the door and jump into the bed breathing a sigh of relief knowing that I successfully evaded them from asking / interrogating about my love life and my marriage plans.  Well I am officially 25 - the prime age to tie the knot, settle down and pop out babies.

I have my family and relatives literally breathing down my neck, pressuring me to "settle down" in life. They are apparently worried that I am going to be one of the LEFTOVER WOMAN. What is a leftover woman you may ask. According to the society, a leftover woman is a woman above the age of 25 who is still single. If this sounds rude to you, you will be amazed at the level to which this term is popularized across the society. 

So you are above 25 and out of the blue you have your relatives, family friends telling you that you are next, your girlfriends are probably either married with few babies or have just walked down the aisle and everyone is so concerned about you not getting married or planning for your marriage. The funny part is that you are everyone's pet project and they are determined to throw you in the bandwagon with the rest of the ladies. 

I wholeheartedly admit that I am freaking out. All of a sudden I feel so pressured and cornered without any room to breathe. I feel something is wrong with me that I am not ready for marriage and that's when I realized that all the harping from my family was finally getting into my head and messing up my thoughts. 

I ended up having a very serious conversation with my parents telling them that I am not ready and I might not be for the next 4-5 years or so. I think that last bit hit my dad quite hard and I saw him placing his hand on his chest. (I thought I killed my dad ) but thank god he was just being dramatic. (Phew) 

I had to reason out with him and assure him that I am going to be fine. I don't mind being the Leftover woman. All my life I have always knew what I wanted and I have worked really hard to achieve it. The same goes for marriage. When I feel I am financially, mentally and emotionally ready, I will settle down. I wouldn't want to tie the knot despite knowing that I am not financially ready and mummy and papa are paying all the bills. Hell No! I am a self made woman who have always done things on her own and this I will too. I am not going to panic just because the clock is ticking. Heck, I am willing to freeze my eggs if fertility is going to be an issue. 

I have dreams, visions and missions. I also have a lot of debts (house , car) and there is no way that I am willing to overlook all of these and just plunge into marriage just to please the society. So dear parents, relatives, friends and family, just because I am 25 and still single doesn't mean I am missing a lot in life. Lovers will come and go but I must live with myself forever. 

It perplexes me that I have to explain this simple piece of common sense but it seems totally lost on our generation. You live once- one single time. It seems to me that when people realized they have entered their late 20s unattached, they start to panic and throw the present to the wind in an attempt to set the life they always thought they would have by their early 20s. 

The message that I am trying to convey is that the quest for true love doesn't have to have a time line and shouldn't prevent you from enjoying your pet years as a single adult. Love for yourself, discover what makes you love waking up everyday.